geminifive

Yes, how much do I value my weekends? I value it this much *stretched my arms*. Yes, very much. Since the dawn of my college life, I've regarded my weekends special. Those were the only days when I could relax and unwind from my school and org-related activities during the weekdays. Yet, when junior year started, the resistance to cram began weakening. Circles around my eyes seem to get more visible. Will the look of tiredness prevail?! I hope not. Okay, I'm talking about stress again... So far, nothing yet has brought me to my knees and hopefully it will never happen.

So here's something unusual: I kept on dropping my precious phone. I hope it doesn't break. I love my phone... Even if it's pink. =p

geminifive

One thing I regret doing last night was taking a nap. That nap turned into my whole night's sleep and I woke up at around a quarter to six this morning! Tsk tsk tsk, bad move! I didn't get to do my schoolwork and I'm too discouraged to do them today. Sigh, I should have a phone with a ton of alarm times set in it, so that its persistence would get on my nerves and then I would stand up and go study.

It's raining again. How do I feel? Non-responsive, adapting this term from Jurgen. No, I feel so sluggish... It makes me just wanna go to bed and hug all the pillows I can grab. Ah, big, cuddly, soft, and kind of cold pillows.... =) Yay.

I feel like I haven't rested much during the weekend. Well, of course I haven't rested enough. I read my research on Abnormal Psychology. And I can't seem to find my photocopied sources. Maaaaaan... I think I may have lost it in school. I hope not. But if it did, I wish it would just be at the cubicle of the CSGC. So much for my hard work. =p

Okay, I'd better catch up on my reviewing. I still have a quiz later. And oh yeah, about my previous post, never mind that. I think I've just got the blues. You know, PMS. Oh well, whatever.

I've got to keep my eyes on the prize! Go go go high grades! Mataas man ang pangarap, gusto ko na ang average ko ay 1.20.

geminifive

I want to try to remember when I had my first bout of depression.  I think I had it when I was about seven or eight? I know, too young to have it at that age. But I was extremely sad back then. Being a pathetic, miserable and helpless little kid, I didn’t try to find out what was the source of my depression. It may be because of my low self-esteem, but what happened? What caused it? Is it because of genetics? My past? If only I could cure myself. If only… I’m a psych major! I should know about this! It’s all in the mind. I shall forget the past. If only I had bad memory for tragic events.

Heck, I know that there are other things to think about other than sadness and pessimism. But there are just some times that I just feel helpless, which really sucks. Because it makes me paranoid to have me think that people think I am so weak. Weak in a sense that I can’t make myself happy, that there should be a human factor involved.

I know some people perceive me as a funny person. Most people think I’m quiet and shy. Is that part of getting to know a person? That’s just the shallow bit about me.  I believe that no one knows me that well. By ‘well’, I mean, like the person knows what you want, and how you feel about something, and sometimes could predict your moves, and know a lot of nonsensical things about you. The person knows a little bit of everything about you. It’s my fault that I’m an enigma to most people. I wouldn’t wanna sell myself to everybody. They wouldn’t get surprised to know anything about me anymore. But then again, if I hide too much, people wouldn’t expect anything spectacular about me, no?

geminifive

Why? Why must it be like this?! Being a college junior is testing my survival skills! Seriously. You know, when you compare college or high school life to a flight of stairs, it's like this: First year was just like going up one step. Lift you left leg in front and stand up on the next step. Easy as pie, right? Then, come second year, not that easy, and not that hard, so-so, you start getting longer classes. You're skipping steps, trying to balance already. And now, third year. Ugh, junior year!!!! It's like walking on steps that are about to break. You have to hasten your pace, you have to keep up with the tasks to be done. You're losing your social life! (Well, maybe that's an exaggeration). We're losing idle time. I want and need idle time.

Responsibility... A thing that increases as you age. You get older, you get more accountable for the things you do. You have to do something about your life already. What if you don't know what to do? Are you just gonna sit around and wait for something to happen, like a rock would fall on your head?

I conclude that responsibility is directly proportional to age. It may be so, but sometimes, we need to have fun. Now how do we have fun when there are so many things to do? That's the secret. All of us will discover that on our own. And I just want to say that wisdom comes with experience. So if you're wondering why old people have a lot to tell youngsters, it's because they're experienced. Many events have happened to them already. And most of the time, you can learn something from them.

I'm beating around the bush here. Just try to find out what my topic is all about. I think I only know it unconsciously.

I need to remind myself again; do not put off for tomorrow what you can do for today.

geminifive

Hey hey hey... I just want everyone to know (I'm feeling like a VIP!) that I'm learning how to manage my time. There may be a few setbacks, like not waking up to the sound of my alarm clock, which is my phone, but I am starting to adapt to this new lifestyle I'm trying to set up.

My goal is to have high grades, be a good College of Science Glee Club core group head, and not cram while doing those things.

One thing I've learned (or not, but planning to learn) is that when given a task, one should do it immediately, if possible, so as to avoid cramming. It means, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. It's annoying that I get to thrive and at the same time, suffer from doing this Mañana habit.

I should not procrastinate. So far, what I can do is, plan my nights. I don't do parties... I attend, occasionally. And by nights, I mean, my weeknights. By this afternoon, I will have made my list of things to do for the evening. Mostly school stuff.

I hope I make this into a habit. I want to eradicate this "procrastination"... Laziness must go! Sigh... It's easier said than done. I'm still sleepy... =(